Senator Linda Newell
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Poor conflict skills are costly in a wide variety of ways

10/23/2017

 
Every year in the workplace, employers (including the government) across the country are losing millions of dollars in employee absenteeism, lost productivity, and employee turnover due to people not knowing how to prevent or manage conflict.

How many of our taxpayer dollars could be saved if members of Congress could drop their egos and collaborate rather than pointing fingers and not getting things done? If every elected official collaborated with each other in their work, the efficiency and effectiveness of government would soar. Cost savings would rise. And trust in government could be regained.

How many marriages could be saved if people knew how to stop yelling and start listening? How many times have you caught yourself in the middle of a seemingly polite discussion only to discover something just went terribly wrong? Words turn mean, tone of voice gets sharper, and faces turn red as you both walk away in anger. You’ve been there, done that, right?

So what do you do when civil conversations turn into conflict?

Through my years of conflict management coaching and time I served in the state Senate, there are a few tips that rise to the top that can be most helpful and easiest to remember in the heat of the moment.

● Listen - Avoid making assumptions about the other person. You have no idea what’s in their mind even if you think you do. The best way to deal with conflict is to prevent it, when possible, and the best way to do that is to listen first. And I’m not talking about pretending to listen while in your head you’re trying to figure out what to say next in “presenting your case.” I’m saying listening with focus on what the other person is sharing with the intention of truly understanding their thoughts and feelings. (Yup, I said the word “feelings.” Get over it.)

● Talk - Respectful honest sharing can go a long way to resolving conflict. Talking rather than shouting (or using your inside voice as teachers tell our kids) can help prevent tempers from flaring. Speaking authentically and truthfully can help keep the channels of communication open to prevent shutdowns or line-in-the-sand nights on the couch.

● Work it out - No other way to say this — resolving conflict takes time and work. Patience with each other, yourself, and the process is key to peace in the home, workplace, school or community. And fortitude to keep the conversations going, not giving up when you know there is a possible solution to the problem and healthy reason to maintain the relationship. We all have opinions, but if family, friends, neighbors, or coworkers are “getting into it” or YOU are getting a bit too aggressive, remember “fair fighting” rules. What’s most important in your relationship is not who’s right or wrong. Are there some people who might have to move out of your life every once in a while? Yes. But most of the time, we are capable of transforming through the conflict and improving our relationships.

If you want to know more about preventing or resolving conflict, this is the time because October is Conflict Resolution Month in Colorado, and there are workshops, classes, articles, books, films, and facilitation and mediation professionals available. Check out www.conflictresolutionmonth.org or email me with questions.

Peace.

Linda Newell has termed out as the state Senator of Senate District 26 and is now educating people on how to understand and influence their government and managing conflict civilly. She may be reached at Senlindanewell@gmail.com, www.lindanewell.org, www.senlindanewell.com, @sennewell on Twitter, Senator Linda Newell or @TheLastBill on Facebook.
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Read this article on The Littleton Independent here.

Film looks behind the scenes at state senator's experience

10/2/2017

 
“The Last Bill, a Senator's Story” is a behind-the-scenes documentary of former state Sen. Linda Newell's real-life story carrying bills through the Legislature.
A screening of the film, presented by the Rotary Club of Five Points Denver, is planned for Wednesday, Oct. 11 at the Posner Center for International Development, 1031 33rd St., Denver. After watching the film, participants will engage in an open dialogue on peaceful problem-solving and healthy communication in government.
A meet-and-greet happy hour begins 6 p.m. The 27-minute film will start promptly at 7, and a Q&A session with Newell, a Democrat from Littleton, will follow until 8 p.m. Tickets are available at www.eventbrite.com/e/the-last-bill-a-senators-story-wsenator-newell-tickets-36873635035.
A portion of the proceeds will support Newell's civic education initiative, developing academically aligned film curriculum guides to be used in K-12 schools across the state. Additional proceeds will benefit the Rotary Club of Five Points Denver's local and national initiatives locally and nationally through the Rotary Foundation's End Polio Now campaign.
The Rotary Club of Five Points Denver prioritizes providing humanitarian services to Northeast Denver neighborhoods in and around the Five Points community, with a focus on youth engagement in local schools and support of community events and programs.
After eight years of public service, Newell recently termed out of the Colorado Legislature and is now producing mini-documentaries and events to educate people of all ages about our government - to see how it really works, from the inside.
The film follows Newell, joined by Sen. Kevin Lundberg, through the process as she works her suicide prevention and service animals bills. See how she is challenged from across the aisle and her attempts at bipartisanship, all with a bit of humor and fortitude.
View the trailer at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La2Jx2EPeEg&feature=youtu.be. Check out her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheLastBill/

Read this article on The Centennial Citizen here. 


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